Cheap(er) Chic Item o’ the Week

February 28th, 2011

I feel like I shouldn’t mar this post with sarcasm because I am talking about Charles and Ray Eames.  *bowing down*  But who am I kidding?  A post without sarcasm?  That’s like a day without sun (Note to my Seattle readers: this comment doesn’t apply to you).

The famous molded plastic DAR chair, currently sold at DWR for $349 big ones:

And, since we can pretty much guarantee that they won’t be missing the royalties TOO much, here’s a good knock off from  $201.99 for TWO.  Yee haw:

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Happy Birthday, Neeraj!

January 14th, 2011

Ah yes. The day has arrived. The annual Day of Embarrassing Neeraj. How I love this day! Every year on his birthday I find my favorite, supremely unflattering picture of Neeraj taken from the previous year and plaster it for all the world to see.

I am so glad I have a blog.

Neeraj is a good looking guy. Take this pic for example:  the butt chin, the swath of silky black hair, the aviators projecting just the right amount of cool…oh and that silly building behind him just seems to add to his suave allure (At least in this pic. Reality is a whole other story.):

But, even good looking guys take awful pictures and one of my favorite things about this man is that he truly doesn’t give a fig what people think. Let me support this by presenting this year’s AWFUL PICTURE.


So congrats, Neeraj. Congrats on making it another year, being a wonderful father to our son and providing me with yet another awful picture of you. But, most of all, congrats on being such an AMAZING man with SO MUCH INTEGRITY that you will never, EVER retaliate with awful pictures of me. Because we both know you have an endless supply of those.

(Editor’s Note: this really is his Costco membership card. )

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Saving Sharks, Saving Me

January 11th, 2011

Recently, Ro and I watched the documentary “Sharkwater“  (Must.  Watch.) and I think he MAY have blinked twice throughout the entire movie.  He was enthralled and asked 7,403,388 questions.  My ears are still recovering.

He immediately started thinking of ways to help the sharks and suggested a lemonade stand.  He hounded me for several weeks but, I am embarrassed to say, I just couldn’t get my act together enough to help him.  ( Yes, I SUCK.  Thanks.)

Neeraj lives downtown and Ro obviously stays with him often.  Recently, they were hanging out in his living room and Ro announced “I’m going to your office to get paper!”  (How Nee heard this while buried beneath his normal piles of laptops, iphones, ipads and flat screens is beyond me but anyhoo…)    He apparently was busy for a little while then came downstairs and asked Nee for a zip loc bag.

Ro: “Daddy, come outside with me.”

Nee: “Why?”

Ro: “Cause I am going to save the sharks!”

Then he went to the nearest street corner and held up his homemade signs: “SAVE THE SHARKS” and “I’ll tell you about them!” and asked everyone who passed for donations.  (I wasn’t there, otherwise this would be where I was a weepy, snotty mess watching with pride.)

Nee told me there were people who actually walked right by Rohan and totally ignored him.  Again, I wasn’t there but this would be part where I’d be screaming (with my bloodshot eyes from crying) “HAVE YOU NO SOUL?” and tackling people for their wallets.  It would’ve been subtle and effective, trust me.  Anyhow, Ro didn’t raise much and got frustrated:

In all seriousness, I am continually amazed by this little being (and my older one but more on that next time) who daily reminds me to be kinder and more compassionate.  When I grow up, I want to be as caring as my 7 year old son.

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Cheap(er) Chic Item o’ the Week

October 1st, 2010

Not the biggest savings I’ve ever found but it still saves you enough to go get your Day Glo nails done.  WITH rhinestones.  I love me some clear acrylic tables but I haven’t managed to take the plunge yet (myself) because I’ve put them in clients homes and seen how they have magic powers.  Oh yes they do.  They attract any molecule of dust within a 12 foot radius PLUS the added bonus of getting scratched to tarnation by Hot Wheels.

However, acrylic tables are a great option especially when space is limited or a room seems crowded.  They provide surfaces without taking up visual area…which means be careful when 95 year old Great Aunt Glenda comes over.  With her failing eyesight, it’s only a matter of time before she trips over them.  (Which may be funny or not, depending on your relationship with her.)

CB2′s Peekaboo nesting set at $199:

Overstock’s set for $139:

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Rednecks Need Love Too

September 17th, 2010

Yesterday, I was involved in a road rage incident with Rohan in the car.  It was one of those things that blew up from nothing and quickly turned a bit frightening.  I had the right of way, someone gunned it at the last second, cut me off and I almost hit him.  I quickly beeped my horn at him and, as a result, Bubba stopped his huge SVU in the MIDDLE of traffic.  Just stopped.  Since his car was 9 ft off the ground with his “I’M INSECURE” massive tires and his windows were black, I had no idea what he was doing so I waited a minute, backed up and then started to go around.  Well, of course, he gunned it to the other lane when I did that and almost hit me.  Again.

Did I mention how much I dislike rednecks?

I waited.  He stayed in that lane so I passed and, of course, we ended up at a red light right next to one another.  I heard him yelling and had a huge lapse in judgement and, for some reason, decided to try and reason with Bubba.  All I cared about was him screaming profanities that my son could hear, so I rolled my window a little and pointed at my son and said something along the lines of “Be quiet.  There is a child in this car” yada yada.  What I really wanted to do was offer him some free dental work after I punched him in the face.  I kid, I kid.  I would’ve kicked him.  He only had seven teeth left in his head anyway.

Anyhow, he did actually shut up for a sec when he saw who I was pointing at, but then he kept yelling so I rolled up my window, turned the radio up and instructed Rohan to look out the other window.  I’m a city girl so immediately assumed this stellar example of humanity was going to follow us and harm us so I was pretending to drive while singing loudly with Taio Cruz to distract Rohan…all the while checking my rearview mirror like a felon in a car chase.

Apparently, Bubba had a KKK rally to get to because he did not follow us but I was pretty shaken, as was Rohan.  I immediately explained to him that I was actually trying to talk to that man but, sometimes, people don’t want to talk and just want to yell and be right and you need to learn to just walk away, which is why I rolled the window up.

Ro:  Why was he so angry though?

Me:  Good question, buddy.  Sometimes people get angry over one thing, but it’s really over something else that happened at another time.  They are sad and don’t know how to deal with the feelings, so they get REALLY angry REALLY fast over something silly.  I am sorry you had to see that though.  I learned my lesson.  Next time I will not even roll the window down because the best thing to do in situations like that is to ignore them.

Ro:  *pause*  Maybe he didn’t get love from his mommy and daddy when he was little.  Maybe he had a really hard time when he was a kid so that’s why he’s so mean now.

Be still my heart.  I LOVE MY BOY.  He has the most tender heart (yes, I know what you are thinking…where did he get that?)  and I am so blessed by this little being who constantly gives me much needed perspective.  Who knew I could learn so much from a six year old?

Apparently, God did.

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House = WIN, Furnishings = FAIL

September 2nd, 2010

Lots to love about this house. I would live there if you asked me. However, I can’t help but feel that the owners forked over a ton of dough to get this amazing piece of property so they could have that view….and then ran out of money and had to use Aunt Verna’s sofa / chair set thing circa 1979 and Uncle Kanye’s coffee table circa 1985.

The dining table and chairs are great and I love ‘em but the incongruency is killing me. The sofa / big chair / whatever-it-is looks like it should be sitting on orange shag carpeting  and reeking of da herb and, by the looks of the cushions, it hosted many a hippie. The mobile coffee table looks like it should be sitting across from a plastic covered sofa “leased” from Rent-To-Own and across from a bookshelf made of shiny peach laminate. I like to think that, at one time, it had legs but they morphed slowly over time into wheels because they are trying to get away from that sofa.

And the vases (that’s “vah-zyz” when you have this much money) full of cut flowers? I assume that their local hospital had to get rid of some extra arrangements that patients left behind. I only hope the part of the dining table not pictured doesn’t have yet two more. Perhaps they just never want dinner guests and completely covering the expanse of wood is their passive aggressive way of suggesting you don’t hint at a dinner invitation.

Deep thoughts by Jessica Thompson

(photo credit: Humberto Hermeto)

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Cheap(er) Chic Item o’ Da Week

July 30th, 2010

Scowl slightly through the haze of your cigarette smoke while leaning on one elbow. Perhaps sip a scotch ever so slowly while your rakish eyes scan the room, pretending you don’t see that lovely lady in her shirtwaist and pearls watching you hopefully.  Close your eyes and savor the feeling of being Don Draper.

That is until your kids snap you back to reality by screaming that their iPhones have awful signal and Netflix isn’t working.

Momentarily indulge your mid-century fantasy with this classic chair.

(Betty Draper not included.)

Room and Board’s Anson Chair for $1,199:

Overstock’s aptly named Jetson Chair at $262.99:

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Dela-Wha? (Pt.1)

July 30th, 2010

Ro and I were lucky enough to spend 2 1/2 weeks in Delaware on the beach.  Yes – Delaware. That name hadn’t passed my lips since high school geography and I could’ve sworn it had a “North” and “South” and was located in the middle of the country but when I heard it actually had coastline, I was in!

So my bestest buddy in the world, my soul sista, the woman I would marry if I swung “that” way… well, we had a beach house for a week. Which would’ve been amazing except we had to include our kids. *sigh* Anyhow, with enough wine and tequila shots, we managed to make it a week to remember.

I am ashamed to say that my son has never seen a sandy beach. He’s seen much of the Pacific Northwest beaches but he’s never seen the majesty of big waves crashing onto a lovely sandy beach. So when we first got to the beach, he promptly took his shoes off and ran through the surf:

At which point, he immediately got wiped out by a wave:

So I sent my Dad in to rescue him:

The first day we spent at the beach most of my photos involve my son  1) right BEFORE getting wiped out by a wave or   2) right AFTER getting wiped out by a wave. He gets his grace from his Dad.

Meghan, aka my beautiful best friend, has two equally beautiful daughters named Gabriella and Lilia. I am so glad we all got to spend time together even though they encroached on my beach swagger (** see note at bottom)  with all their loveliness.  All the chirrun’s had a blast:

That Gabriella game me a run for my fashion diva money with her fancy hat and scarves:

And yes, Auntie Meg joined in the fun:

Lilia (the wee one) melts me into a little puddle when I see her sweet face in this pic:

I can’t decide which was cooler: Ro’s mohawk or G bringin’ back the 80′s with her rockin’ side ponytail:

G: Seven going on 16:

** You won’t see any pics of me because, thanks to melanoma, I had the single dorkiest and most unattractive SPF 50 cover-up in the history of fashion.  Now usually I am one to rock something regardless of what it looks like, but there was no hope.  The below knee length coupled with the long sleeves and yes, even a BACK VENT made me look like a total tool.  Add the giant sunglasses and huuuuuuge hat and you get the total vomit-inducing picture.  What can I say?  Vain as I am I would rather look like a dork than die.  I figure if the melanoma doesn’t get me, I may just die of embarrassment. It’s a toss up at this point.

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(Not So) Veiled Abuse

July 8th, 2010

Taking a break from my regular snark-a-thon to blog about something important. It’s taxing, but I CAN be serious especially when it’s about something as substantial as this.

A lot of us have been touched by abuse in one form or another. There are many forms, all of them horrendous and damaging, but I have to say something today about emotional abuse.  Someone I love is going through this right now and it’s heartbreaking to see the destruction that words can cause not only to her but to her children. I feel I have to say something because maybe, just maybe, the abusive jackass will read this and it will make an iota of sense.

Emotional abuse is no different than using your fists to get your point across. Actually, it IS different because it is cowardly and more sinister. To even be emotionally abusive to someone you have to KNOW them. Know their joys, theirs strengths and their weaknesses. Know their sadness, know them well enough to choose that one spot where you can stab in that verbal knife and hurt the most. Yes CHOOSE because at one point that person saw the light and joy in the person they are hurting. At one point there was something that drew them together. That made them radiate together. The abuser uses that beautiful part of being a human, of being alive, that basic human element of being vulnerable and establishing a connection with another human and twists it so far that it becomes a destructive tool.

Our culture writes off emotional abuse because you can’t see the destruction. A black eye is easy to see. The destruction of your character, the very core of who you are? Well, not so easy to see but just as lethal and I would go so far as to say, more destructive.  It takes a lifetime of experiences to form one’s self esteem, one’s belief in their worth and their place in this world yet only a small amount of time to destroy it.

People who emotionally abuse were obviously raised around this behavior in some form. But the difference between them and us is that they are unable to make the mature choice of breaking the pattern. Did your Dad verbally break your Mom down until she was a shell of the vibrant woman she was before? Do you remember how little and scared you felt when you heard this happen? Do you want to do this to your children? Do you want to break someone down so far that their luster is gone forever? That they can’t get up and stand on their own because they have no more belief left? Remember when you were little and felt like you couldn’t save your mama? You want to make your own kids feel this way?

Imagine a little kid asking their mom almost daily why they are crying. Imagine a little kid feeling like THEY did something wrong because their mom, who is usually so fun and attentive, is staring at the wall in a daze, so far away that this child can’t reach them and they are left feeling sad and confused. Imagine the guilt that these children feel! Guilt that will form a life-long pattern of destruction in their psyche and possibly rob them of the chance to feel deep joy and internal peace.

Even worse, imagine if this little child came home and said that one parent was saying horrible things about the other parent  (and newsflash: passive aggressive comments are just as bad). Any child shrink will tell you that this makes the child feel responsible. They aren’t old enough to logically understand what is happening, so they take it in and form their own self around the belief that they are responsible for everything bad around them and they aren’t worth much.

Abusers will justify WHY they have a right to be angry, WHY they have been victimized and are justified in reacting like this, WHY this isn’t their fault. And you know what? History is full of stories of dictators, murderers and the worst of humanity who all hid behind these pathetic excuses.  A psychopath is a psychopath (“amoral behavior without sympathy or remorse”). It doesn’t matter whether your place of false power is a city, a country or your family.  You are choosing to destroy someone. You are CHOOSING to not look inside yourself and change your destructive behavior.

Your parents ruined this part of your life. Don’t do this to your family too.

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Open Mouth, Insert Foot

July 6th, 2010

Ro and I spent most of June at the beach and I’ll be posting some great pics but, while I finish downloading my 700 shots, I’ll share with you what happened to me yesterday at the grocery store. Go ahead, laugh at my expense. You are welcome.

I was shopping around 5PM so the store was pretty crowded. I have been known to talk to myself and, apparently, I talk much louder than I think I do. (I have heard that talking to yourself is a sign of genius but obviously my mere existence proves that to be completely wrong.) Anyhow, I was walking with the crowd and I was looking for the aisle that had the chocolate. I THOUGHT I was saying this in my head, but apparently I said, out loud and with much feeling, “MAMA WANTS SOME CHOCOLATE!!”.

I was lost in my own little world of chocolate and failed to see the african-american man directly in front of me. He whipped around, mouth agape and raised his eyebrow.

Oh LAWD, I wanted to die a sweet little death right there. I blushed from head to toe (which is like a veritable rainbow when you are as white as I am). Of course he had to actually be a good looking man too. (No way I could turn THAT into a suave pick up line!) I laughed and said that the only thing I was trying to pick up was a bar of chocolate and I apologized.

I promptly turned on my heels and walked away, probably talking to myself the whole time.

I leave you with this pic.  Glad to know that Rohan feels the same way about Sarah Palin as me:

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